Alcohol Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

--Frank Sinatra


Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.

--Timothy Walsh


A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

--Anonymous


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

--Henny Youngman


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

--Stephen Wright


When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...

--Brian O'Rourke


You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

--Frank Zappa


Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

--Winston Churchill


Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

--Dave Barry


The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

--Humphrey


Bogart I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

--Homer Simpson

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