Cricket Jokes

The demon bowler sent his thunderbolts whizzing past batsman and wicket-keeper for boundary byes from every ball of his opening over. 
The captain said, 'I think I'll rest you for a while.'
'You can't do that,' said the bowler. 'I've just bowled a maiden over.
'Women like that are a luxury I can't afford at the moment,' acidly replied the captain.

The spider walk to the crease.
'Oh no, not him again,' sighed the grasshopper. 'Is he good?' asked a beetle.
'It's not that,' said the grasshopper, 'it's just that he stays in so long.
The only way to get him out is l.l.l.l.l.b.w. !
Two old cricketers were talking in the club.
'What was your highest score?' 'A hundred and ten not out.'
'Mine was a hundred and twenty not out'.
'And what was the most number of wickets you took?'.
'Oh, no. This time you go first.'

The captain was in despair at his side's fielding. Match after match, they dropped every chance that came their way. 
Finally one day the captain called his men together and told them that he was taking them fishing.
What for? they asked.
'To make sure you catch something this season!'

The wicket-keeper had a high opinion of himself and was very free with his advice to the captain.
'You know,' he said, 'You've picked two men who should never be in the side.'
'Oh really,' said the captain icily, 'and who's the other one?'

You're looking glum'. 
'Yes. My doctor says I can't play cricket.' 
'Really? I didn't know he'd ever seen you play!'

The two cricketers' wives were talking.
'What does your husband do?' 'He's a cricketer.'
'So's mine. Who does your play for?'
'Well, I think it's the United Nations. He says he's always bowling Chinamen.'

An American had been told to go to a cricket match while he was in England. He watched with pleasure as the teams came out and the batsman scored four runs off the first six balls. Then the umpire called "OVER". "Well," he said, getting up, "it's a nice game - but it's very short!"

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